Masque strips – the review

Further to my discovery of these strips which you can read about here, I’ve since received my order (chocolate and watermelon) and given them a go!

I know I said I’d order all four but at £9.99 each that wasn’t really possible…. blame my spur of the moment trip to Tom Ford!

The packets are nice and slim so could easily get through a letterbox if you’re not in.

Inside there are three individually wrapped packets which you peel apart to reveal the strip.

So far, so good.

I’m not sure about spending £9.99 for a packet of three strips and, if one gives a steady stream of head, the cost could rack up fairly quickly.

 

Now, to the taste. I’m disappointed to report that the overarching taste with both flavours is that of nail varnish remover/hand sanitiser.

Imagine, if you will, swilling some alcohol hand gel around your mouth then getting a wave of flavour that I imagine Lidl’s own brand Kahlua imitation would taste like. I felt at one point (whilst trying not to throw up) there might be a hint of rum in there but I think that was a result of someone mixing “chocolate” with hand sanitiser.

Unfortunately, the watermelon was no better. It followed the same pattern as the chocolate – alcohol hand gel to start then (rather than kahlua) the taste then developed into something similar to tropical Hubba Bubba.

 

I have no doubt that using one of these strips masks the taste of seminal fluid. Either this is because of the “Natural taste masking agents” they use or perhaps the strips just destroy your taste buds.

 

To summarise, let me share a true story of my past: there was a time I gave a guy head and his cum tasted so awful that I threw up in his kitchen sink.

I would rather re-live that experience than go near a Masque strip again.

 

xxx

 

p.s I have two individually wrapped strips in both chocolate and watermelon if anyone wants to verify my findings…. Or is feeling masochistic.

Tasty blow jobs? Om nom nom!

Have you ever been going down on a guy and thought how awful his man sausage tasted?

Fear not, help is at hand…

A company called Masque have produced thin, dissolving gel strips designed to mask the flavour of seminal fluid and taste delicious at the same time.

The ingredients clock up the usual selection of dyes, emulsifiers, sugars and starches but one ingredient in all flavours is “Natural Taste-Masking Agents”. I emailed the company asking what this actually is and received this response:

“The natural taste-masking agents are actually part of our secret formula and a big part of the patents we have pending. However, I can tell you that we didn’t invent any new chemicals or agents for the product. Everything that’s included has been in food and pharmaceuticals for well over two decades. The way our researchers have described it is that you have almost certainly ingested everything in the strips within the past 72 hours or so.”

I do quite like to know what I’m actually putting in my mouth (saucy!) but until the patents are approved one does have to appreciate the need for secrecy.

The four flavours available are: strawberry, chocolate, watermelon and mango. Whilst all four are gluten free, none are kosher or vegan. If I had to guess I’d say this is because the gelatine in all the strips is a pork derivative… but once I hear back from the company I’ll update the post.

I’ve also ordered all four so will report back on taste and… erm… effectiveness shortly! Whilst you can only buy from their website for delivery to the USA, there is a company selling them for UK delivery on Amazon.

 

xxx