Role Models

With social media, celebrities can now reach connect with their fans easier than ever before.

Justin Bieber has 51.9 million followers, second only to Katy Perry (53.3m) and ahead of Barack Obama (43.2m). [1]

Justin Bieber has more followers than the President of the United States of America, more followers than the entire population of Spain [2].

This is the child (and yes, he is still a child) that in January was arrested on suspicion of driving whilst drunk, driving with an expired license, and resisting arrest.

Zayn Malik, with his 12.7m followers, has recently been shown smoking a joint whilst in a car with Louis Tomlinson and the hashtag #CutForZouis is now trending on Twitter.

I shit you not.

These are fans that are so influenced, so fixated, so utterly obsessed with their idols that they are willing to self-harm, photograph it and put it on Twitter.

There have been many more occasions when celebrities, who have an audience that is predominantly young and/or impressionable, have done something stupid or illegal… or both.

My question is this: to what extent should celebrities be expected to portray a positive image and to what extent should they be allowed to live their own lives as they wish?

I’m going to try and form my thoughts (this might take a while) so let me know what you think!





Get your Rocks Off people!

There seems to have been quite the splurge on arse related posts recently, butt (yep, did it again) I’m enjoying myself so let’s keep it going!


I have long been a fan of the Lovehoney Basics Slimline Butt Buddy Butt Plug. I’d like to meet the person responsible for naming that one!

It’s a great starting point; slim, soft, flexible, cheap, no phthalates. Lovely stuff.


Recently, I’ve been craving a little more in that area so have branched out and bought the Rocks Off Assberries Raspberry. Again, I need to go for drinks with the people that name this stuff!

The Raspberry

Rocks Off produces some great stuff, it’s all waterproof and is designed, tested and produced in the UK. They use platinum grade silicone and their toys are some of the softest I’ve ever touched.

The Raspberry itself is thicker than the Slimline plug and comes with a removable 80mm bullet – great for making sure it’s perfectly clean after a fun session.

Scale 2

Scale 3







Scale 1

I had gone through a phase of pressing a bullet against the base of the Slimline plug to provide vibrations but, if playing solo, you very quickly run out of hands! The Raspberry circumvents this leaving both hands free to play with all manner of other things *exercise your own imagination here*.

After a while with a pretty small plug the change was noticeable and took a little adjusting to. I would never be without my trusty lube (this one, if you’re interested) which is essential for all fun, safe backdoor play.


The vibrations come in a variety of speed and pulse settings and I’m having a wonderful time exploring them all. The neck also has a pleasing diameter to provide just enough of a stretch.

I think this is a great toy for a semi-beginner looking to step up the sensations but at the same time it also has enough ‘zing’ for the more experienced out there. All in all, a great toy.


What I’ve learnt in 12 months of blogging…

It has been a little over a year since I started this blog so I thought I’d reflect on what I’ve learnt…


  1. Pick the right hosting site

I started on WordPress and for 12 months it has worked well. Until I wrote posts on double dipping and blow jobs… these included a photo of anal and a woman giving head. BOOM. Account suspended. I’m in the process of moving to Blogger (which is harder than cold fusion) where I can have adult content.

If you are going to be posting things of a slightly less mainstream nature, then check what your hosting site allows.

  1. Ignore the stats

I have spent more hours than I’d like to admit to scouring my stats, working out where people were visiting in from, where they looked, how they found me, who commented etc. Has it changed what I write? No. I write what I write because it makes me happy and I hope that someone else will find it amusing/helpful.

My blog might not be my meal ticket, but that’s not why I started it. Yes, being a millionaire for writing about sex would be awesome, however I’m not going to cry myself to sleep because only 7 people read my post on Ben Wa Balls. Life is just too damn short.

  1. Don’t ignore Twitter

Twitter is the quickest and easiest way to get your blog out there for people to see. Look up hashtags that interest you, start conversations, follow interesting people, favourite stuff you like and make sure you respond when someone interacts with you.

This is all social media 101 but it’s easy to ignore it or be complacent, all you’re doing is making it harder for other people to discover the marvellous shit you’re writing.

  1. Beware reflections

This is (mostly) for those whose blogs are anonymous. Luckily my attention to detail borders on the psychotic so I edit my images to death – right down to removing any reflection from my iris when writing about a new eyebrow pencil. Whilst I don’t think anyone cares who I really am, I’m not about to advertise it.

Even if you’re not an anonymous blogger: BEWARE THE REFLECTION. If you need reminding why, here’s a helpful link.

  1. Keep your lives separate

I had a panic attack last year when I didn’t realise which Twitter account I was signed into on my phone, then followed back a load of people from my personal account. Whilst that didn’t really matter, what if I’d uploaded a photo to the wrong account, or tweeted about anal beads from my other account? Hello JSA.

For the anonymous out there, create blog specific email addresses and don’t use your personal mobile number for ‘account recovery’. If you really want to activate that option, get a cheap PAYG mobile.

  1. Credit everything

I still remember what was drilled into me at university (not that, cheeky!): unless something is your opinion, you must reference it. This goes for anything on your blog whether stats, facts, photos, images, quotations or anything, you must show where you found it. Anything else is stealing and, as we all know, stealing makes Jesus cry.

These are the ones that have stuck out for me but I’d be really keen to hear what other people have learnt or what advice you would give to a new blogger…



p.s If no one reads this that’s ok. I’ll be at home with my emergency wine, examining my stats and tweeting from the wrong account…

Love For Sale

Some of you may have seen Rupert Everett’s recent two part documentary ‘Love for Sale’. If you haven’t, it was a graphic exploration of the sex industry in the UK.

This programme covered a very wide range, from an escort who charges £700 per hour, to middle class mums working whilst their children are at school, to addicts who walk the street offering blow jobs for the price of a coffee.

Rupert also took us via transsexuals working out of a van in Paris, men who have lost count of the number of prostitutes they’ve paid, a Mistress that sells her poo for £25 per go and a couple that believe seeing sex workers strengthens their marriage.

There are many emotions that this programme evokes and therefore many things I want to write about. My opener for 10 is my opinion on the legalisation of prostitution.

The problem is, I don’t actually know what my opinion is.

Before I get started… in this post I have referred to the sex worker as female and the client as male. Women do pay for sex, but as the majority of the transactions involve a male buying and a female selling this is the association I’ve used.

Let me take you on a little journey through my brain….

 Legalising prostitution

In the process of writing this article, my next argument was going to be that whilst it is an incredibly laudable dream to eradicate the sex industry entirely it’s just not realistic.

By using similar logic you could say if we try hard enough we’ll ensure no one ever murders again. Being sensible, this is never going to be a reality. Rather than waste money and resources on a fairy tale we need to make the ‘here and now’ as good as it can be.

This seemed reasonable in my head. Then I thought about rape.

Would I be happy to say “Men will always rape. It’s not a realistic aim to remove it completely from society so we should stop trying. What we need to do is make the support services incredible thus making the ‘here and now’ as good as it can be.”?

Fuck. NO.

A common argument is that since the dawn of time not only have people killed people but people have bought and sold sex. This behaviour is therefore entrenched in the human condition and something that can never be changed.

I don’t buy this. Every single one of us changes every single day. Why should we not demand better?

An incredibly wise (though admittedly fictional) person once said “there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right”.

If we look beyond the sex trade to the wider society, I believe this time is upon us. Whilst we have some of the most powerful, inspirational and iconic female role models of all time, the objectification of women is more intense now that it has ever been.

What we need is a fundamental shift in society to a place where women are judged on achievements and actions. Where girls grow up without feeling the need to binge and purge (as I did) to look like emaciated models. Where we don’t learn about relationships and sex from porn. Where women can live without fear of sexism, harassment or worse.

It’s not going to be easy and it won’t happen overnight or even in a decade. However as Russell Brand said “be careful with your soul and be careful with yourself”.

Right now, I don’t think we’re looking after either particularly well.