Invisible Knickers… Walk. Away.

A particularly hideous creation has recently been paraded on the internet and I feel my disgust needs to be stated for the record.

Bring on…. invisible knickers. Invisible knickers, front and back

My main issue with these is that they aren’t actually invisible. You might not be able to see the ‘knickers’ when wearing a mesh panelled dress or perhaps something red, Valentino and split to the hip, but get naked and what are you left with?

You’re left with something that resembles the 1800’s answer to sanitary wear…. except with plastic…. and much more awful.

Admittedly (read: thank fuck) they are still on Kickstarter and have yet to reach the $10,000 goal needed to start production. I would be very grateful if everyone could start burning any money they find to ensure this product never reaches the general market.

Their tag line is also outstanding and deserves special mention:

“Absolutely invisible panties! Use them every day, be sexy and free, even when you’re having “special women’s” days!”

 Right then guys and girls, let’s say it together: Period…. No, don’t run away screaming, come back!

Let’s try again: I’m on my period, I’m due on my period, I’ve missed a period, I hate my period, periods suck. Period.

Alternatively, you could just use a tampon.

My absolute favourite part of the invisible knickers was this:

 Invisible knickers

Apparently, odd plastic straps that will sweat and chafe with cheap white plastic adjusters and a sanitary towel attached underneath is sexy. Who knew?! Call me a granny but I’d rather have a pair of nudes any day. Or better yet, go commando.

xxx

The Inflatable Vibrating Butt Plug…

As the title suggests, this is my review of the Inflatable Vibrating Butt Plug.

‘What is it?’ I hear you ask, well… it’s a butt plug, which inflates, and vibrates. Obv.

I first tried this butt plug about 2 years ago, back in the day when anal exploration (the true final frontier) was a reasonably new concept for me.

At this point I need to create a warning for those that are just starting out with anal play – this toy will not be your friend!

Having something up your butt is kinky and naughty but it also feels so good. Whether it’s a little finger, a large plug or a nice string of beads, the sensations change everything about sex and masturbation, but the rules are there for a reason:

  • Always use lube (this one by Maximus is particularly good)
  • Start small and build up
  • Never ignore pain

I would have said this toy should come third or fourth in your journey thought the glorious and diverse world of butt plugs. As a beginner it was particularly difficult to cope with the size, rigidity, inflatable-ness and vibratey-ness (totally real words) all in one go.

Someone once said you should try something three times before deciding you don’t like it, so with that spirit in mind I revisited the toy and BOY have things changed!

I still find it a little too rigid for my taste – I prefer a softer plug, but the vibrations…. Oh. Em. Gee.

When in its normal form, the vibrations extend right the way down the plug, when inflated they concentrate around the neck. Going from inflated to normal (at the flick of a very handy quick release button) is a sensation like no other.

The vibrations vary from very gentle to really strong, giving you the option to start slow and teasing or really go for it depending on your mood.

It does look a little intimidating, but if you can get beyond that, lube yourself up and you’ll have a rocking time!

xxx