To boyfriend, or not to boyfriend?

When does a guy you’re seeing become your boyfriend?

For me it’s on a similar level with figuring out the meaning of life and, quite frankly, I’m closer to answering that than the original question.

There are, in my mind, three types:

  1. The Announcers“We’re in a relationship, put it on Facebook, tell your mum, call me your girlfriend” Undeniably bold, potentially risky if in truth it’s too soon.
  2. The Assumers… You and your friends start referring to him as your boyfriend and vice versa, but you never have ‘the discussion’. So much time passes that trying to have ‘the discussion’, or reverting to Type 1, would be weird because you’re already there.
  3. The Askers“So, I’ve been thinking… are we boyfriend and girlfriend?” The most straightforward and it should be the simplest way to do things however it often isn’t, because what if he says no… Is it because he doesn’t really like you enough? Is he just not ready yet? If not, why not? Are you not good enough for him? Is he seeing someone else and wants to keep his options open? Is he a commitment phobe? Now here come the questions……

I am trying to figure out which type I’m going to be… I am dating a wonderful man; we’re past the point of counting dates, but neither one of us has referred to the other as girlfriend/boyfriend.

Previously, I’ve been more Type 2 than anything else. Sometimes I dream of having the balls to be Type 1, but previous boyfriends (one in particular springs to mind) have been such emotionally stunted man-children they would have run for the hills. In hindsight, that would have been no bad thing.

I imagine I’ll stay true to form and be Type 2, just need to find a completely non-obvious and light-hearted way to drop it into conversation…. No pressure then!


p.s I didn’t mean for the three types to all being with ‘A’ but it’s nice when things work out!

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